whew. went
bloghopping and ended getting myself depressed. but its okay. no one will know except for
alex. i doubt anyone really know i had this link. but its okay. this gives me the reason to say whatever i want and do whatever i want.
its been a long time since
i've have pictures on my blog. so kinda weird. its like the feeling without them, running away from them and pretending i
dontknow them.
hahs.
i've never really faced up to this situation. i kinda missed the times i had and will always slap myself why did i not cherish it dearly. the fact that i did not want to go home, there's a reason. my mum works from 5am-12pm and 6pm-11pm every day. yeah, my house is facing some kinda of financial
problem. my parents gamble, smoke and they are certainly violent. they used the loud screaming and painful beatings when something goes wrong. but its different now. i
dont see my parents now at all. why?
cus their hectic working schedule made it so hard for me to see them. every night i can just glance at them when they are sleeping and see the faint dark lines of old age overcoming them and see their wrinkled hands as they work so hard everyday.
i'm proud of them
cus they're my parents. but its kinda hurting to see them like this. nobody knows. so what if
i'm not born with a silver spoon inside my mouth? does it means that i cant be your friend?
i
dont deny the fact that i am stubborn and hard to please. friends are leaving and
im only left with
aiko xuey. who can proudly tell me that they have
reminisced those times i had had fun with them? i hate facing up the problem cus it is damn hurting. am i that hard to get along? i didnt know my character was so bad. -flirt, liar, "act". what else?! am i really like what qxuan says "i only care about me myself and i"? am i like what others have claimed "im so hot tempered, i wont care about them after i had a tiff with them" ? am i a big fat liar? am i someone who flirts all day? am i that unreasonable bitch that scolds fuck every second? am i.. that loser backslider who refuses to face up the reality? God, i've ran away from you. cant you just kill me or something, let me ruin my life?
it hurts to go school walking in the compounds all alone. it hurts to have eyes staring at you wherever you go, without any company. sorry is not my word anymore. screw this world. i dont owe you anything. say all you want about me. depise all you want. after 1 month or more. i will be out of this school. goodbye my friends, i've never known you before. thanks for the memories you gave.
p.s gave my phone to mum. currenly un-contactable.
to all the fuckers out there, yeah la i'm lying.
Labels: fuck you
